DiscoverYour Daughter

Now that you’re about to start middle school, does it seem like everyone’s telling you how hard it will be? The teachers are so strict, the school is like a maze, and popularity is everything! You may feel like you’re drowning in problems, and school hasn’t even started yet! But hey…relax! We asked DG’s readers what’s worth freaking out about…and what’s not. The good news is, middle school isn’t half as scary as you think. And for the rest, well, we’ve got solutions…

“In middle school, the work is harder than in elementary school, mainly because it’s more responsibility, but it’s nothing you can’t handle.” -Kate, age 12, Tenn.

The Problem:

The teachers are meaner, and the work is so much harder. You’ll have tons of homework.

The Real Deal:

On average, teachers will be tougher—but not because they’re heartless meanies. Believe it or not, their toughness is a compliment: They know you’re more mature, so they expect you to work harder and be more responsible. The good news is meeting their expectations is entirely under your control. After all, you decide to bring your materials, to show up on time, and to study—even to let your teacher know if you need extra help. More good news: Courses should be challenging but not impossible. In fact, most classes start with a review of things you’ve already learned.

“Your friends do change during middle school, because they’re trying to find their spot. My friends may not want to hang out with me some days, but they always come back.” -Kate, age 12, Tenn.

The Problem:

All your friendships change, and there’s tons of drama. You might even lose your best friend or end up all alone.

The Real Deal:

There’s no middle school law that says you’re bound to lose your elementary school buds. It’s true that you may not graduate with exactly the same friendships you had on the first day. Middle school is an amazing opportunity to meet new people, and also to take a new look at old friendships and see how well they fit the person you are now. Some old friendships might fade, but some might actually deepen. And while drifting apart from an old pal can be painful, it doesn’t have to mean tons of drama. Vow to stay kind even if—no, especially if—she doesn’t, so you can move on with your head held high.

“I thought I would always be late for class because I would not be able to navigate around the building. But after my first week, I knew all the shortcuts between classrooms.” -Kayla, age 12, Nev.

The Problem:

You’ll never be able to crack your locker combo in time to race to your next class, especially since the new school is like an enormous maze!

The Real Deal:

Every new student panics about getting lost and being late—people even have scary dreams about it! Most schools have a tour day or an open house to help you get acquainted. If you can, time yourself trekking between the classrooms on your schedule, including locker stops. You’ll be amazed (and relieved) at how far you can get in a minute! Keep in mind, too, that most teachers will let lateness slide during the first week, when you’re still learning your way around. Still anxious about that locker? Before school starts, buy a combination lock and practice opening it. On day one, jot down your locker combination somewhere safe but handy, like inside the back of your binder. (Try this trick: Jot the numbers down, one under the other as if they were an addition problem, draw a line under them, and add them up. No one will guess part of the “problem” is really your locker combo!) Don’t give the combo to anyone else, though—not even your best friend. No one needs to get into your locker but you!

“Sadly, middle school does come with that person you learn to avoid. If an older kid makes fun of you, just give them a ‘whatever’ look and walk on by. Really, don’t they have better things to do?” - Dagny, age 12, Tenn.

The Problem:

Older kids and popular mean girls will make your first year miserable.

The Real Deal:

At one point or another, some “cool” type will probably snub you or put you down…but that doesn’t have to ruin your life—or even your afternoon! Focus on making (and keeping) real friends, and you’ll worry less about whether everyone is your friend. If someone is seriously harassing you, report her (or him) to a teacher in private. Otherwise, shrug it off and walk away…and just keep reminding yourself that she’s the one with the problem, not you. Finally, remember that middle school is what you make of it. If you need middle school to be just like elementary school (where your class ruled and everybody knew your name), you’ll be unhappy. At times, a large middle school can seem overwhelming, cold, and impersonal. You may even find yourself wondering why trendy clothes and a loud voice so often spell popularity, but no matter how cool and nice you are, not everyone at your new school seems to like you…or even to notice you. But here’s the thing to remember: You don’t need everyone

.

“I love middle school. I have made so many friends.” -Maddy, age 11, Tenn.

What you do need are friends. All kinds of friends. BFF types. Classmates to IM for assignments when you’re out sick. Soccer teammates. Just-say-hi-in-the-hall friends. Next-door neighbors you ride the bus with. Think about it: With all those friends supporting you and making your life full and fun, it’s not going to crush you if some eighth grader tells you your hair is all wrong, or the popular boy in your language arts class doesn’t even know your name. In fact, with all those friends on your side, middle school challenges won’t faze you…friendship drama, tough teachers, scary older kids, locker combinations and all.

Originally printed in Discovery Girls magazine. Share this with your daughter.