DiscoverYour Daughter

You race from the bus stop to make your 4 p.m. piano lesson. Then it’s basketball practice, running the dog, stacking the dinner dishes…finally, you’re ready to hit the homework: science chapter, book report, math test tomorrow. Too bad you’re too exhausted to keep your eyes open! And it’s only Tuesday… Sound familiar? For years, you kept telling the adults around you not to treat like a kid—well, congratulations, it looks like they finally listened! Between chores, homework, sports, and activities, it’s clear that your parents, teachers, and coaches expect more from you today than ever. And all those new responsibilities can leave you feeling stressed out, overwhelmed…maybe even wishing you could be a little kid again! So does growing up really have to be like this? No way! Keep reading, because help is here.

Item 1: Organization…The Easy Way

Do you groan when you hear the words “get organized?” Many smart, creative people tremble at the thought of organization, fearing it’ll just bog them down with pointless extra work. So instead they end up tearing up their rooms, searching for clothes or papers. Or they waste precious homework time phoning classmates to get the assignments they’ve lost. If they’re lucky, at some point it dawns on them: Being disorganized is the most pointless waste of time there is! But how do you turn over a new leaf if organization just doesn’t come naturally? Just keep it simple: First, have a place for everything. Decide where you’re going to put each item you own—a shelf for books, a drawer for winter sweaters, a folder or binder section for your English papers, a pouch for pens and pencils….Then stick to it, no exceptions! Second, jot down your to-do list items in a date book. Keep that little book in your backpack or purse, and flip it open whenever you get a new assignment, a due date, an appointment, or any other task you’re not going to do immediately. Ortho appointments, friend-dates, chores, school assignments, swim meets…write them all down! That way, you’ll be less likely to let something fall by the wayside. Remember, the point is not to get obsessed with order—it’s to save yourself time and effort, so you have more of it to spend on doing the things you love!

Item 2: Setting Priorities

What’s more important: school, chores, sports, or activities? If you said they’re all important, you’re absolutely right. Your “job” is school—it trains you for success as an adult. Sports and activities can help you stay healthy, learn special skills, and develop your interests. As for chores…well, taking out the trash may not seem noble, but it contributes to your family’s wellbeing—and what could be more important than that? You need all of these things for a balanced life. But if they’re all important, how to you choose what to do first? Three factors determine the order in which you should get things done. The first is urgency, or how quickly something must be finished. For example, practicing violin is always important, but if your recital is next week, the need to practice gains urgency, too. The second factor is personal significance—how closely something relates to your own personal goals, passions, and dreams. For example, working on your science fair project is important because it’s for school. But if science is your passion, and if the grand prize at the fair is a scholarship to science camp, then that project could have incredibly high significance for you…but maybe not for your best friend who doesn’t love science. Commitment to other people is the third factor, and that means taking into account how others are affected by your task. If you promised your mom you’d vacuum tonight, you have a good reason to do it. (If you can’t, you need to talk to her about it, because it affects her, too.) It’s always tough to prioritize from among important things, but keeping these three factors in mind will help you manage your time more wisely.

Item 3: Minding Those Minutes

How many four-year-olds do you know who worry they won’t have time to check off everything on their to-do list? Zero, right? Four-year-olds have no responsibilities yet. Their lives are nothing but free time. You, on the other hand, are a busy person juggling a stack of commitments, and that means you can’t afford not to keep track of time. This doesn’t mean you have to rope yourself to some strict schedule and never enjoy a free moment again. It just means you need to block out enough time to complete the items on your list. That means you’ll need to estimate how long each item takes, and know when it must be finished. For example, if you give yourself two hours tonight to do your homework, one hour to practice your lines for the school play, and 20 minutes to do the dishes, that’s three hours and 20 minutes spoken for. The rest of evening, though, is yours to use however you please. Besides your date book, another a fabulous tool for time management is a kitchen timer. Set it up to track how long you practice karate or piano, or use it as an alarm so you can lose yourself fully in whatever you’re doing but still feel secure that you won’t lose track of time.

Item 4. The Fun Factor

All this talk of work may have you wondering, “When do I get to have fun?” The answer is, every single day! Not only will a good time keep you from burning out, but you can use your natural craving for fun to motivate you. Whenever you’re faced with a challenging job such as writing an essay, promise yourself a special reward when you’re done—watching your favorite DVD (again!), an ice-cream cone, or a sleepover with your best friend. Also, find a hobby you absolutely love, something that’s so much fun, it’s a reward in itself, and add it to your schedule. Whether you love drawing, horseback riding, or creative writing, seeing it listed on your calendar will add excitement to your week and help keep you motivated. You can also find ways to put some fun into your less-than-thrilling tasks. For example, if you have to fold your laundry, why not watch a hilarious movie while you do it? You can even add some enjoyment to tough tasks that demand your full attention, such as studying for a test in your hardest subject. Start by finding a setting that helps you concentrate, such as a quiet room or one with soft music. Then fix yourself a mug of hot chocolate or your favorite tea and settle in. If you make your surroundings as pleasant as possible, you’re far more likely to focus and succeed…and you might even find yourself saying afterward, “Hey, that wasn’t so bad!” Getting organized, setting priorities, keeping track of time, and always remembering to sprinkle in some fun…put these four items on your to-do list, and you’ll be able to cope with all the responsibilities of growing up that come your way.

Originally printed in Discovery Girls magazine. Share this with your daughter.