DiscoverYour Daughter

Do you often wonder if the adults in your life are really listening to you? Does it sometimes seem like they say no before you’ve even finished asking a question? From parents to teachers to coaches, adults can have a tendency not to listen to younger people…which is definitely frustrating! Not to worry, though—we can help! Here’s how to get them to pay attention…and even see things your way!

Mom & Dad

Sitch #1

You don’t just want a cell phone, you need one…but Mom and Dad don’t think it’s a good idea.

Instead of…

“But everybody else has one!”

Try…

Convincing your parents that having your own cell phone will actually benefit them! Not only will they always be able to find out where you are, but they’ll also be able to contact you at all times—and in case of an emergency. That means you’ll be safer, so they won’t have to worry as much. Once you explain the benefits of giving you a cell phone, you’ll have to deal with their other concern: the cost. Offer to pay part of the monthly fee with your babysitting money or by doing extra chores around the house.

Sitch #2

The most adorable puppy on this planet is waiting for you to take him home, but Mom and Dad just aren’t having it.

Instead of…

“Please, please, please. I’ll just die if I don’t get a puppy!”

Try…

Showing your parents that you really are ready for this huge responsibility. Do your homework by researching different breeds of dogs and making a list of the types that would be best for your family. Impress your parents even more by making a schedule of how you would take care of the dog: the feedings, baths, and walks. Dog sit for your neighbors, or even volunteer at an animal shelter to show that you’re serious about taking care of a dog—even after he’s past that cute puppy stage.

Sitch #3

You’re the only one of your friends with no IM privileges…talk about tragic!

Instead of…

“All my friends think I’m such a loser because you won’t let me IM.”

Try…

Proving to your parents that your homework always comes first. That way, they won’t be quite so worried that it will become an obsession. Give your word that you’ll always make time for family activities, too. (Board games, anyone?) Assure your parents that they can see your buddy list, check in on your convos at any time, or even put a time limit on your IM-ing each night. (Remember, compromise is the name of the game…)

Sitch #4

You’re so overdue for an increase in your allowance, it’s not even funny.

Instead of…

“You can’t really expect me to do anything with this teeny amount, can you? Get real!”

Try…

Suggesting that you take on a few more chores around the house to earn extra money. Make a list of things you could do each week, and ask your parents to agree to a set amount of money for completing each task. Offer to keep track of each completed chore, and be honest! Prove that you can go that extra mile. If you’re supposed to keep your room clean, drag out the vacuum cleaner before that dust bunny under your bed is the size of an actual bunny. And make sure your timing is right: Ask when your mom and dad aren’t too stressed out.

Coaches & Teachers

Sitch #1

It’s time for a change…you’re ready to play a new position on the team.

Instead of…

“Why do you always make me play defense? I know I could score more goals than Alexis if you’d just give me her position.”

Try…

Thinking like a coach. She wants to put the best team possible out on the field. Watch the girls who play the position you’d like to try so you can get the scoop on the skills you’ll need to perfect, then practice those moves every chance you get! At the next practice, tell the coach you’re interested in trying a new position, and that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to be good at it. If she gives you the opportunity, go all out. If she doesn’t agree right away, don’t give up! Continue working on the skills you need, but don’t give up on the position you play now. Prove that you’re a team player with the moves for any position, and you’ll get your dream spot!

Sitch #2

You worked super hard on your Egyptian pyramids paper, but got stuck with just a B.

Instead of…

“What in the world do you have to do to get an A around here? So not fair!”

Try…

Scheduling an appointment with your teacher. It always helps to go straight to the teacher instead of stewing and steaming alone! Ask what you could have done to make the paper better, and listen carefully to what he says. Don’t act upset or offended at his suggestions, either. Remember: You are asking for his advice, so take it! If he doesn’t want you to rewrite this paper, use the tips to improve your next one—and then totally ace it! You can always ask for extra credit to bring your grade up, too.

Sitch #3

You’re caught talking during a test, and even though you most definitely were not cheating, the teacher still took away your paper!

Instead of…

“You don’t really think I was cheating, do you? Give me a break!”

Try…

Approaching your teacher immediately and apologizing for talking during the test. Admit you made a mistake and promise to never do it again! Explain the situation and, if you can, prove to her that you really weren’t cheating. Even if she doesn’t let you take this test over, study hard for the next one. Show her you deserve another chance—and that you meant what you said!

You’ll Get It!

No matter what the situation, your first step should be to try thinking like an adult. What would make them feel better about giving you what you’re asking for? You want something that involves more responsibility? Think about ways you’ve already shown how responsible you are, and point them out. Do you want a chance to prove yourself, or a second chance? Show them that you’re dedicated and will do anything to make it happen. And if you can show them that whatever it is you want will also benefit them—you’ve found your winning card!

Originally printed in Discovery Girls magazine. Share this with your daughter.